I woke up to the doorbell going berserk.  Someone was holding it down and the buzzing was beginning to get to me.  I was still half asleep as I fumbled for my phone.  I grabbed it and squinted through my sleep encrusted eyes trying to get a clear reading on the display.  It read 7:35, “Oh man!”  I yelled through my parched throat, I didn’t have to be up for another three hours, who the hell was waking me this early.  I was still groggy because I had taken my sleeping pill less than four hours ago, so I was moving rather sluggishly.  The constant metallic drone of the doorbell was starting to irate me as badly as fingernails on a chalkboard.  “I AM COMING! JESUS! RELAX!”  I yelled as I dragged myself toward the front door.  It was while I was zombie walking down the hallway that a few realizations hit me, the first was the fact that my apartment didn’t have a doorbell and the second more important fact was I was certainly not walking down my hallway.  Somehow my tiny apartment had turned into a massive white marble hallway with intricate designs and paintings of an alien origin were peppered along the walls.  I wasn’t walking either I was being ushered forward by a moving sidewalk like in the airports.  Obviously I was dreaming I thought to myself as I enjoyed the ride toward the front door, trying hard to see some of the decorations on the wall but everything was still blurry from my half-sleep.  I pinched myself, it hurt so I tried again, pain.  I was positive I was dreaming and to prove the pinches were just a fluke, I wound up and cracked myself across the face.  “Son of a Bi..!!” I yelled as I instantly started stroking my stinging face.  How could I be awake on a moving sidewalk sliding through a marble hallway toward an unseen doorbell that won’t stop? I had many more questions than answers but figured I was just deep asleep due to the sleeping pill so I just decided to see where this was taking me.  The moving sidewalk began to slow down as a large white door appeared a few feet ahead of me.  It looked like it was made out of a huge marshmallow or a small cloud, with one small gold handle placed right in the middle at about waist height.  I stopped completely less than a foot from the door and finally the doorbell ceased as I gently jerked the door open.

If the strange hallway and moving sidewalk weren’t enough, the scene that befell my sleepy eyes almost did me in completely.  Right there just a few feet from me was Jesus Christ himself.  I knew it was him immediately seeing as I have personally met him two times prior to this.  He flashed a big toothy grin and embraced me in a big bearhug.  I hugged back as he spoke, “It’s Obi Wan’s bachelor party and he wants you and me to take him to the arcade.  I will pay for everything dude, you just need to bring a smile and a positive attitude.”  We held the hug for a minute or so, there is a very peaceful feeling when Jesus touches you and his hugs feel like the warm embrace of a hot summer day.  It is very hard to let go of him at all, anyway back to the story.

I agreed instantly and before I could even blink my eyes Jesus, Obi Wan Kenobi and myself were in the arcade I used to go to when I was a kid, it closed in 1989.  I was still swooning from the Jesus touch and a tad bit drowsy, I felt drunk.  I closed my eyes for a second to gain some sense of balance and when I opened them up I was standing next to Jesus eating a foot long corn dog while Obi Wan was playing Pac Man.  Jesus touched my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “You okay dude?”

I grinned like a little kitten getting pet as his warming touch flowed through my body, “No dude,” I said sleepily, “I think I am just tired and maybe a little confused.  Where am we?”

Jesus chuckled a little and took his hand off of my shoulder to point to the wall in front of us.  My heart sank as his hand left my shoulder but it plummeted to my feet when I read the sign on the wall.

WELCOME TO PURGATORY. PLEASE ENJOY THE GAMES AS YOU AWAIT YOUR FINAL JUDGEMENT.

THANK YOU

THE STAFF OF THE AFTERLIFE INN

THE END….

Peace!!!!!