I apologize for reposting this picture (way back in the first month of my blog) but I was having a very difficult time with my blog, or my computer, I am not certain which one it is.  The end result was me deciding to not have an aneurism over it and this was the solution.  So once again sorry for the repeat believe me I had a much cooler picture planned.  This blog site has been very problematic lately and instead of letting it attempt to derail me from my fairly decent streak of being not being visibly ill tempered.  If some of you only knew half the things I have been very gallantly suppressing you would be even more impressed with my new found tolerance.  I actually feel better emotionally not letting things get to me as much as they used to and I have even found more inspiring ways to meditate and unwind, I am happy to say that I am liking this new approach at life A LOT.  Well enough of all that, I did have a point to this rambling missive at the beginning but it has escaped somewhere into the garbled mess that is my mind. 

I laid in bed last night for well over an hour just listening to music and crying.  I was weeping for everyone that feels pain or sadness, the tears were coming out like a dam had busted from behind my eyes and in a way it was like that metaphorically.  I wanted to take away everyone’s pain even if it was just for a minute or two because everyone deserves to be happy.  I just made things worse for myself as I started to envision all the greed and evil that surrounds us everyday.  I was crying because I felt ashamed and embarrassed for all the pain I ever inflicted upon anyone, life is too Fucking (sorry) short and I just want to live it content, content in the fact that I finished this life a much better person than I was when I started this.  I wasted a lot of my life fueled by anger and driven by hate, it got me nowhere but more miserable.  I turned a corner in my life a few years back when I dragged my defeated and humiliated ass back from Washington and although I have stumbled a few times overall I am a much better person than I was in the past.  We have to make mistakes to learn from them and I cried last night for everyone I wronged, I want to leave this world unburdened by fear, guilt, hate, greed, anger, etc., and a lot of the water running down my cheeks last night was from relief.  Five years ago I wouldn’t have put five bucks on me being alive right now let alone doing pretty decent and I cried about it last night.  No matter what annoyances find their way into my day like websites not working or stubbing your my toe they are trivial to what really matters and wasting any amount of energy on negative things only produces negative results! So long story short I wept like a newborn baby for at least an hour while feebly trying to sleep, I wept for my past digressions, I wept for humanity, I wept because I just want a world where everyone cares for everyone but mostly I wept because I am still alive and for once in a long time I am excited about it.  Everyone one of you who read this have a lot to do with my new attitude toward everything, thank you all so much and maybe together we all can make a difference.  I apologize for the reposted picture I just felt like I needed to tell you all that I cried last night…………IMAGINE………..PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!