I took this one last June when we went to the Brewers game.  It is another reminder that spring is nearing! Only 8 days until pitchers and catchers report and 8 weeks until opening day! This is the one time of the year that I don’t mind if it seems like time is flying by, the quicker this winter ends the better! January turned out to be quite eventful and although I was very optimistic about this year being “MY YEAR”, I had no idea it would start out with such a bang.  I woke up this morning with one of the worst bloody noses of my life, I get them often, even more often when I am stressed and today while I shoved a Kleenex up my nostril I looked in the mirror and promised myself I would not let trivial matters destroy my day or more importantly my health.  Most of you know my motto, “everything happens for a reason”, and this is no exception.  I do not want some minor thing like work to drive me to an aneurism or heart attack, and the last thing I want is some long drawn out battle.  I have said and did what I had to do and I have no more energy to exert on the matter.  This whole thing has just spurred me into writing my novel much faster than originally scheduled, because I need to be stress free.  As William Ernest Henly wrote in his classic poem, Invictus, I am the Master of my fate and the Captain of my soul.  I have no control over how things turn out once they are set in motion but I do know that everything is going exactly as fate and destiny have planned so I can do nothing but sit back and enjoy the ride.  I am content for the simple fact that I felt disrespected and unappreciated and I stood up for myself, without losing my temper, once! This last month was very eventful and it was a good foundation to build my special year off of.   As much as I despise the human race I cannot deny the fact that I am one and that I have real feelings like everyone else.  I spent too much of my life worried about how others perceived me, to the point that I would say what people wanted to hear because I wanted everyone to like me, but after being stabbed in the back so many times for as long as I did I became an introvert and built a huge wall around me.  I started to take that wall down bit by bit when I met and fell in love with my wife but as the bricks are taken away I sometimes feel vulnerable and very sensitive.  I don’t think I have cried more in my life than I have in the last couple of months but the weird thing is most of the time the tears were from joy or satisfaction, as I mentioned before I meditate about 4 or 5 times a week, although lately it has been everyday, and each time I cry.  I never thought I would actually enjoy feeling tears run down my cheeks because I have only ever cried out of pain or sorrow so crying for a different reason takes some getting used to.  I am not the same person I was 4 years ago, actually I am not the same person I was a year and a half ago, this blog and my photography have changed me, and the best part is I am still changing.  Everyday I become more of the person I was destined to be and everyday I grow a little stronger emotionally as well.  Some people may think I am a bad person for sticking up for myself and my beliefs but if I let what other people think about me dictate my actions I would regress all the way back to the walled up person I am trying so hard to never become again, and failure is no longer an option for me……………PEACE!!!!!!